Ep. 64/ 3 weird reasons why you continue to get stuck in bad relationships
It's essential to recognize and confront these patterns to pave the way for healthier, happier partnerships
“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.” – Elvis Presley
Today, I want to delve into three unexpected reasons why many of us find ourselves stuck in bad relationships. If you've ever felt like your "picker" is broken, and you keep ending up with the wrong partners, this one's for you. These insights are based on a TikTok video I created and have found to be highly relevant to many people.
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Childhood Emotional Neglect: If you had one or more parents or caregivers in your childhood who failed to meet your emotional needs and were emotionally neglectful, you might find yourself subconsciously seeking partners who resemble those individuals. You might even be trying to prove your worthiness to them as an adult. For example, if your father was emotionally unavailable and only reached out during holidays, you might unconsciously be attracted to emotionally distant partners who trigger the same dynamic.
Emotional Self-Regulation Issues: Some people struggle to self-regulate emotionally, making them susceptible to toxic relationships with partners who breadcrumb them. Breadcrumbing is when someone showers you with affection initially but gradually withdraws their emotional investment. This tactic can keep you emotionally tethered, hoping for their return. If you can't self-regulate, you might stay in these toxic cycles because your chaos drives healthy partners away, reinforcing your belief that this is as good as it gets.
Familiarity with Dysfunction: Growing up in an environment where love was rarely expressed or inadequately displayed can lead you to settle for less in your adult relationships. When your family doesn't know how to show or receive love, you may end up accepting any hint of affection as "good enough." To break free, you must expand your horizons and realize that love doesn't have to resemble your past; it can be healthy, abundant, and fulfilling.
And there you have it, three unusual but significant reasons why you might be stuck in unhealthy relationships.
Before I wrap up, I'm excited to share that I've started a new TikTok account called "Tacos E Tattoos" (E as in "and" in Spanish). It's a fresh start, and I'm loving the positive energy there. If you're on TikTok, come join the fun and let's connect!
Thank you for tuning in, and remember, love and healthy relationships are within reach. You deserve the happiness you desire. Stay tuned for more insights and discussions in future episodes. Until next time!
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**This post is based on personal experiences and observations and should not substitute professional counseling or therapy. If you're facing significant emotional distress, consider seeking guidance from a licensed mental health professional.