Ep. 52/ Want him to lead? Here’s how you can help him awaken his masculinity
If he's the right partner for you, he'll rise to the occasion and embrace the opportunity.
“It’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ―Marilyn Monroe
We've all been there – relationships where we find ourselves pouring in more effort, more energy, and more attention than the other person. It's a common scenario that often leads to frustration, resentment, and confusion. If you've been nodding along, this episode is definitely for you. We're going to explore a unique approach that might just change the game for you.
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But before we jump into that, let me share a little personal story that led me to this realization. A few weeks back, I and my friends attended the Romeo Santos Bachata concert – a fun-filled weekend with music, dancing, and joy. But as we tried to leave the concert venue, chaos ensued. Thousands of people scrambling for Ubers and rides, and my friend Tracy and I found ourselves caught in the whirlwind of trying to secure a way home.
As the frustration grew, I had an epiphany – we were inadvertently blocking the space for our male friends to step up. Tracy and I were so determined to solve the situation that we didn't even consider allowing them to take charge. It was a lightbulb moment, a realization that many of us often overlook.
This tendency to take control and manage situations can stem from various factors. Maybe it's past experiences that have caused us to doubt the ability of our partners to handle things. Perhaps it's a habit we've developed over time, and while it can be efficient and effective, it can also create a power imbalance and a lack of appreciation.
The concept of allowing men to lead might sound radical, but it's rooted in the idea of restoring balance and embracing the natural energy polarity in relationships. It's not about disempowering ourselves, but rather about creating a space for our partners to step into their masculine energy. So, how do we put this into practice?
When we start to shift our behaviors, it can feel uncomfortable, even guilt-inducing. Imagine taking a step back and letting the other person take the reins. It might be a new experience, especially if you're used to being the one who plans, organizes, and takes charge. But remember, you're not being inauthentic – you're allowing yourself to rewire your patterns for healthier relationship dynamics.
Whether you're in a new relationship or working to redefine an existing one, here's a step-by-step guide to give this approach a try:
Lean Back: Instead of being the driving force, take a step back and allow your partner to step up. Let them plan dates, outings, and surprises. This might be challenging at first, but it's essential for fostering balance.
Offer Hints, Not Demands: While you're letting him lead, it's okay to offer subtle hints or suggestions. Remember, you're not controlling the situation, but gently guiding it.
Reciprocate Positively: As he takes charge, reciprocate with positivity, appreciation, and enthusiasm. This reinforces the behavior you want to encourage.
Trust the Process: At the beginning, you might encounter resistance, confusion, or even pushback from your partner. This is normal, as you're shifting established dynamics. Stay patient and allow the transition to happen naturally.
Now, if you're thinking, "But what if he doesn't step up?" That's where the magic truly happens. By leaning back and giving him the space to lead, you're also allowing room for him to show his true colors. If not, his lack of initiative will become apparent, and you'll save yourself from investing in a relationship that doesn't serve you.
Remember, this shift is about creating an environment where both partners contribute in their unique ways, nurturing a more balanced, harmonious relationship. It's not about relinquishing power, but about redefining the dynamics to promote authenticity and mutual growth.
So, whether you're in a seasoned relationship or stepping into new romantic territory, consider trying this shift. Embrace the discomfort, trust the process, and watch as the energy dynamic between you and your partner transforms. You might just find that a little space can lead to a whole lot of magic.
Stay authentic, stay balanced, and keep embracing the beautiful dance of relationships.
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**This post is based on personal experiences and observations and should not substitute professional counseling or therapy. If you're facing significant emotional distress, consider seeking guidance from a licensed mental health professional.